IGNITE 2010

SEE YOU GUYS AT IGNITE! IM FUCKING EXCITED! BYE!

i miss my band=(

If you think its for you, then its for you.


Days To Her Absence
It's Raining, Down Here I'm Breathing
With My Good Friend Sitting Beside Me
I'd Always Thought That She Means The World
But Not Anymore, Coz It Seems Like We've Done Here..

It's Good To Know She Still Cares About Me,
This Is What We're Meant To Be
I Can't Bear To Let It Go
It's Painful To Start All Again..

She Makes Me Run Until There
Said She Doesn't Even Care
I'm Just Pretending, That Everything's Fine..
She Kept Me Waiting All Day Long
I'm Not Used To Being Alone
If I Could Turn Back Our Best Times..

I'm Not That Someone She Thought Who Can
Take Good Care Of Her And Show Love The Way She Wants
She Knew How Much My Love For Her
But Not For Now, Coz It Seems Like We're Dying..

I'm Dissapoint By Those Tears In Her Eyes
Rolling Down Her Beutiful Face
It's Like We're Not Suppose To Be Together
But It just Keeps Linger In My Mind

She Makes Me Run Until There
Said She Doesn't Even Care
I'm Just Pretending, That Everything's Fine..
She Kept Me Waiting All Day Long
I'm Not Used To Being Alone
If I Could Turn Back Our Best Times..

Here's A Last Kiss From Me To You,
Let's Make This A Night To Remember
Get Me Off Your Head, Tell Me Something
Before It's Gone How Could You Let It Past By
There Won't Be Any Next Time
You Save Me From The Worst Nightmare
That Got Me Into This, But I Really Hate To Be This Way

She Makes Me Run Until There
Said She Doesn't Even Care
I'm Just Pretending, That Everything's Fine..
She Kept Me Waiting All Day Long
I'm Not Used To Being Alone
If I Could Turn Back Our Best Times..

miss you.

you can leave anytime u want.

Dont question, just listen.

am I invading into ur secrets?
am I too close for comfort?
ure pushing me out when I wanted in
who the fuck would put in so much
effort just to pleased someone?
what i hate most is,u wasnt being honest.
id told u i wouldnt be mad.
u think ill get dissapointed and felt embarrased abt it?
cmon arh im not a sissyfuck sia. grrr whatever the hart is alr in pieces.
i meant it when i say that. u think i was fooling arnd arh?
i shouldnt have bother and stop squeezing myself to u.
thinking back i was an idiot. that was plain stupidity.
why did ive to fall for u man. ughh this really freaks me out.

let me call this karma, ive did this to someone on her birthday.
and now its my turn. ohh great.
dont worry, ull be rmbed since it was 2days before my bday.
ive always needed u in my life. yeah always.
but do u ever need me?
i can see u everywhere with anyone.
maybe uve got this things, these powers to manipulate ppl's mind.
dont u think so?
u were lucky im patient. if not i would have turned into a monster.
haaah just kidding.

i don't want you to feel sorry for me.
ur sorry doesnt have any meaning in my life anymore.
u never gave us a chance to be
i don't need you to be by my side
to tell me that everything's alright.
all i wanted was the truth.
u know id do that for u.
cause i did enough to show you that i
was willing to give and sacrifice.
and when I get close, you turn away.
there's nothing that I can do or say.
is it me, is it you?
nothing that I can do to make you change your mind.

i cant face u anymore. im a coward when things gets messy
and out of hands.
u can have ur way, ill have mine.
i'll look back, with honor and no regrets.
i won't be mad, won't feel bad.
these memories will never leave me.
don't be sad cause life goes on.

cant help it. im sorry for what ive said.
goodbye goodnight, i'll move on.
you'll call it fate, i'll call it karma.
we had our time, it was fun while it lasted.
im just a piece of dirty tissue to u now.
now im feel so wasted might as well i just get wasted.
fuck i cant be fruity anymore.
fuck that, I'm depressed let's go bad boy and call in some pussies over.
I got fed up and I'm definitely gonna go back to old school.

im gonna cry to my mom right nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
fuck u all! just chill and ride the flow.

suddenly the internet connections sucks at night;
it should be the other way round.
ohh whateverrrrrrrrrr~

lets see..
i cant sleep. i wanna sleep. im always looking forward to sleep. cuz i like it when my dream goes wild. and wet too. hehe.
i try forcing myself to be sleepy by listening to some classical sheitty song that would knock me out in seconds but NO. doesnt work that way.
but instead it drive me headache. what am i suppose to do now?

ohh and i forgot that next week is my birthday until Sharifah^.^ told me so.
everyone has a birthday wish, so do i.
but i find it rather lame kez ppl will laugh out loud if i told them the wish i had.
every year its the same. i dont find it special. its like i dont celebrate much with my family but my friends are more excited that my family do kind of thing. get it?

hmm. i find myself weird as in really weird.
i like doing stupid things w/o any reason.(watch too much of jackass)
sometimes i idle at the corner of my room just to find that im daydreaming somehow.
maybe some part of my brain is not working well. who cares, i like what im doin.

and yes finally i hear u sing! the distant lullaby voice kinda thing. i LOIKEE<3
i may seem like a bee outside but u dont know how much of a butterfly i become whenever u came across my mind=))
ugh i feel weird expressing myself in public.

Meet Adelya<3

shes may not be the most sexiest guitar ive got but shes the BEST!

the other one is my first.

the name's Turbo.

i just like giving names to my precious things i cared for. although thats gay.

This is more like to express and show the chapters of my small world.

hehe.

turn up the volume a lil cause its kinda soft. HEH.

To love or leave.

this is an old song which brings alot of memories back.

and i sucked at singing.

and this is random.

Enjoy.

Thanks.

bye.

hello ppl.

lazy sia want to blog.

lazy sia want to go work.

lazy sia want to bath.

lazy sia want to shave my 6months old hairy armpit.

lazy sia want to flush after peeing.

lazy sia want to type.

and its not funny eh.

stop smiling infront of the screen.

*take a minute to listen to ur hart*

idk if youre serious about this.

are u making me go round in circles or do u just need my accompany?

to be honest, this hart just doesnt beat to the path where i am right now.

i wish i could ask u but this isnt the right time.

based on trust, i know i can trust on you and i bet u can trust on me kez im always the man of my words.

you share ur personal life experience as in things that not suppose to be told.

sometimes without you realising it, im actually listening to ur hart. ur feelings.

but some secret are not meant to share. im fine with all of it.

girls are complicated. no, you are complicated i can tell.

you once said that all guys are the same. i beg to differ. i disagree.

youre different from other girls i know. for sure.

sometimes its hard to tell that youre really into smth.

although youre always looking happy and smiling.

im just confused by the way you sound and act.

its like youre a different person each day and that make it a challenge to know who you really are.

the real you. the real R.

i wanna know whats happening on the other side of the wall.

i was in this situation once. its like dejavu.

and that i would stumble across the key

or break down the door to ur hart.

"LETS START A ROCK BAND" - NOT!

i wanna back out.

its not working out.

we're falling apart.

my interest isnt there anymore.

bt i dont know how to tell u guys.

bye2 bandmates,

xoxo

i think its time for a change. for me.

and this is what i hate the most.

I'm sensitive when it comes to dealing

with people who are pretty close to me.

I'm easily pissed but I just don't show it.

ive this ideology of the non-existency of love,

taking it as just a mere Myth.

Though what you feel is actually to just care.

I maybe a heartless person outside,

with my friends but you don't know how much I care for my family.

just that i dont knw how to show it. geez.

im angry and mad ytd bt im not today. yey!

I wanna dance and stomp and punch. and i feel like grabbing ur head and do some pedigree!

fuckingmoodswing. fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

i dont understand myself. my life.

and i wonder how it will revolve.

im so fucking curious. haha.

ive been posting about my life fr the past previous post. *yawns*

lets not talk about how boring my life is.

what is wrong with u ppl?!

guess what?

my mom is planning to cut off half of my allowance 'cause she think im wasting it on ciggies.

OHH PLEASE! cmon, i told u alr i wasnt buying anymore. whatever.

okay maybe u dont trust me anymore ever since last year when i was caught smoking and i lied to u that i wasnt smoking each time u smell the scent of tobacco.

u tell me. who the hell would tell the truth when they have done smth wrong.

okay i admit, im coward at admitting my mistakes.

but why u have to linked it with the word 'smoking' whenever im at fault?

its that the weapon u have to used it against me?

u knowing its very really irritating although i walked away each time i dont agree with u guys.

that is such an insult and ure getting hard on me each time.

im really disgusted and annoyed when u said that. its as if im such a badass.

ohh whatever, iam anyway. no one is perfect.

u always reminded me to quit. ya i know, im trying.

its not like quitting a job or get ditch and getting over it.

its hard when ur influence is great and ur friends around u smokes too.

i just felt that the arrows are pointing straight at me. no question asked.

if u were to talked to me nicely, i bet we could figure it out together.

i believe that at one point in ur life, everthing will fall.

and sadly, this is the beginning.

sorry to say this, we're falling apart. thanks to me.

i dont need u winston and u too pall mall. go find someone else.

youre a problem ill never solve.

ive just did a biggest mistake in my life. i feel so fucked up now.

my parents dont understand me anymore.

on the other hand, my dad keep pushing reasons against me.

he doesnt seem to care much for me.

Arguing with him or raising up my voice doesnt help 'cause i knw ill lost the mutual respect for each other.

okay fine, i shall listen to u.

i know u want me to be independent but all i asked for is some guidance in my life.

is it too much for u?

i told u ive screwed up my life and i need a way out and u know theres still hope.

u always come up with solutions no matter how tough or pain for u to handle it.

but u have given up on me, dad.

neither do we understand each other anymore.

what doesnt kill you makes u stranger.

GOD.

im the type who gives up easily.

i know, its okay.

i hate competitions.

its hard to compete with ur social networking friends when ure alr that extrovert.

maybe im trying too hard.

lets start the post

Dear Afiq, how has ur life been?

its a long time since i wrote my way here.

2009 may not be my year but i hope 2010 brings a better meaning to life.

lets start the post with the things ive learnt in my life and people's life.

everybody's changing each time of their life. even i do see myself changing. i used to think that what the voices in the back of my mind says is always true without thinking about the future consequences. i began to wonder why the fact that i let the time bypass me. but its okay, im taking this time all by myself.

if oneself weakness and ability set barriers between friends, then let not me be ur friend. secrets dont make friends, secrets make more enemies.

im worried for others for no reason eventhough they dont do the same in return. im always looking ahead of others and the bright side of life but one thing for sure, i believed i could do this on my own and still survive that way with a stronger heart and mind. logically, you cant do it on ur own as in alone. its good to have alot of friends. but what kind of friends?

ive seen their true colours and i know what they are capable of and how they come about. some are moving on and others are still unsure about themselves. to be exact, they dont even know their purpose in life. in fact, ive learn alot about myself to handle each problem i faced. we have to accept the reality as there are several bumps down the life’s road. maybe this is all about growing up? ive heard alot of stories of the person i came across. beat it my working partners nor my parents. my friends which are the same ground as me and have the same mindset who i rather not depend too much on 'cause we are still blinded with a folded blank map that we thought could help us.

anyways, i met arif a few weeks back and we talked about our past,present and future and the choices we made in life. hes the best man to talk/approach to. no, seriously. we think at the same degree unlike some of my narrow minded friends.

ive observed alot of changes this past few months. i know you guys have something to say. just ask me and we could debate this for days. cos we all know we are right and neither of us wanna lose. let me have my way and you have ur way.

take care kids. dont play with fire.

i dont know

i've caught you lying to yourself
now everything is speeding around and round
well im a fool to watch but never say
im bothered by the choice you made

do you think you could make it on your own?

who i am hates who i've been

whats ur motive? whats ur intentions?
dont ever give up on me, please.