*take a minute to listen to ur hart*

idk if youre serious about this.

are u making me go round in circles or do u just need my accompany?

to be honest, this hart just doesnt beat to the path where i am right now.

i wish i could ask u but this isnt the right time.

based on trust, i know i can trust on you and i bet u can trust on me kez im always the man of my words.

you share ur personal life experience as in things that not suppose to be told.

sometimes without you realising it, im actually listening to ur hart. ur feelings.

but some secret are not meant to share. im fine with all of it.

girls are complicated. no, you are complicated i can tell.

you once said that all guys are the same. i beg to differ. i disagree.

youre different from other girls i know. for sure.

sometimes its hard to tell that youre really into smth.

although youre always looking happy and smiling.

im just confused by the way you sound and act.

its like youre a different person each day and that make it a challenge to know who you really are.

the real you. the real R.

i wanna know whats happening on the other side of the wall.

i was in this situation once. its like dejavu.

and that i would stumble across the key

or break down the door to ur hart.

"LETS START A ROCK BAND" - NOT!

i wanna back out.

its not working out.

we're falling apart.

my interest isnt there anymore.

bt i dont know how to tell u guys.

bye2 bandmates,

xoxo

i think its time for a change. for me.

and this is what i hate the most.

I'm sensitive when it comes to dealing

with people who are pretty close to me.

I'm easily pissed but I just don't show it.

ive this ideology of the non-existency of love,

taking it as just a mere Myth.

Though what you feel is actually to just care.

I maybe a heartless person outside,

with my friends but you don't know how much I care for my family.

just that i dont knw how to show it. geez.

im angry and mad ytd bt im not today. yey!

I wanna dance and stomp and punch. and i feel like grabbing ur head and do some pedigree!

fuckingmoodswing. fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

i dont understand myself. my life.

and i wonder how it will revolve.

im so fucking curious. haha.

ive been posting about my life fr the past previous post. *yawns*

lets not talk about how boring my life is.

what is wrong with u ppl?!

guess what?

my mom is planning to cut off half of my allowance 'cause she think im wasting it on ciggies.

OHH PLEASE! cmon, i told u alr i wasnt buying anymore. whatever.

okay maybe u dont trust me anymore ever since last year when i was caught smoking and i lied to u that i wasnt smoking each time u smell the scent of tobacco.

u tell me. who the hell would tell the truth when they have done smth wrong.

okay i admit, im coward at admitting my mistakes.

but why u have to linked it with the word 'smoking' whenever im at fault?

its that the weapon u have to used it against me?

u knowing its very really irritating although i walked away each time i dont agree with u guys.

that is such an insult and ure getting hard on me each time.

im really disgusted and annoyed when u said that. its as if im such a badass.

ohh whatever, iam anyway. no one is perfect.

u always reminded me to quit. ya i know, im trying.

its not like quitting a job or get ditch and getting over it.

its hard when ur influence is great and ur friends around u smokes too.

i just felt that the arrows are pointing straight at me. no question asked.

if u were to talked to me nicely, i bet we could figure it out together.

i believe that at one point in ur life, everthing will fall.

and sadly, this is the beginning.

sorry to say this, we're falling apart. thanks to me.

i dont need u winston and u too pall mall. go find someone else.

youre a problem ill never solve.

ive just did a biggest mistake in my life. i feel so fucked up now.

my parents dont understand me anymore.

on the other hand, my dad keep pushing reasons against me.

he doesnt seem to care much for me.

Arguing with him or raising up my voice doesnt help 'cause i knw ill lost the mutual respect for each other.

okay fine, i shall listen to u.

i know u want me to be independent but all i asked for is some guidance in my life.

is it too much for u?

i told u ive screwed up my life and i need a way out and u know theres still hope.

u always come up with solutions no matter how tough or pain for u to handle it.

but u have given up on me, dad.

neither do we understand each other anymore.

what doesnt kill you makes u stranger.

GOD.